and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
