Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
