Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
