Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
