chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
