i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
