You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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