Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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