I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
