This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
