Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
