We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
