His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
