you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
