Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
