I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
