Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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