i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
