Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Never underestimate the power of titties
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
