i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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