goodnight i made you a song goodbye
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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