six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
