I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
