We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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