everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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