how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
