I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I could fuck to npr.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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