You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
