it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
