So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
