the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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