Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You have to summon your inner elephant
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
