shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
