I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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