I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
