you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
