My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
