I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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