i wish peter jackson would direct porn
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
