Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have fence marks all over my body
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
