Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
