One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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