Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
