Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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