Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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