What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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