You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
