I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
