one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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