I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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