As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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